Napoleon Die-Namite

So I found this humorous link buried in the discussion boards for Napoleon Dynamite on imdb. Apparently, Jon Heder, the actor who plays Napoleon, is not dead. You know, just in case you were wondering.

I love snopes. I used to read it all the time, and then I guess I kind of forgot it existed. Until now. I wonder how long I'll remember it this time around...

Hey, guess what. I heard William Hung died of a heroin overdose! Crazy shit.

Napoleon Dynamite

So I watched Napoleon Dynamite last night, and then again tonight actually. It was better than I had thought it was going to be; it was so funny in so many different ways. When I watched it again tonight, I noticed so many things I didn't see last night; I love that kind of shit. I can't wait to go buy that movie, so next time I want to pretend to be productive it will be one of the movies I could potentially choose. Yesssss!

I Heart Huckabees comes out today on DVD. I want it. For the same reason I mentioned above. Oh, there are so many things I want. I want everything. I am American, after all.

Today actually was a pretty productive day. I woke up reasonably early for having the day off (9:30am), took my car to the dealership for "scheduled maintenance" (they changed the oil), paid some bills, finished some laundry, did my naked yoga, relaxed. I haven't been home in awhile, though - I've been camped out at my boyfriend's for a few days. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still paying rent there, but it is kind of nice knowing that I have my very own place that I pay for all by myself to go home to if I so desired. There's this thing about me where I like to make everything very difficult for myself, I think just so I can prove to myself I can handle anything. For whatever reason I need to know in my head that I can do whatever life throws at me and completely support myself if I need to. It gives me some sense of confidence, at least, if anything.

I was totally about to say something, but I forgot. Surprise suprise. Apparently weed and hash will do that to you...but moreso if you smoke it (as opposed to...uh...just looking at it).

I'm getting really sick of the way SBC is whoring out Eric Clapton in like 10 different commercials. It's pretty annoying. How many different commercials do they need? God.

for your inquiring minds

By the way, my Valentine's Day was totally awesome. My boyfriend brought me coffee in the morning (which I love soooo much), along with a dozen roses (which I love also!). Then he went home to put together a picnic lunch, and he came back to pick me up after I had time to get ready for a little while. It was raining, so we ate our picnic lunch in the car up in the hills, watching the rain over the bay. It was really nice, actually. We listened to a cd of songs he had recorded for me - I'm not just talking about songs he burned onto a cd, I'm talking about actual songs he picked up a guitar and recorded. How awesome! Then we drove to the city (the city of San Francisco) and went to the art museum - specifically, SFMOMA. He had somehow picked up on my desire to go there - I had been thinking it all weekend, but never said anything to him. I'm very impressed at our psychic communication. Later, we went home to his place, and he massaged me until I fell asleep...I was really tired for some reason (as I've been all week long). There were another dozen roses waiting for me at his house, along with chocolates, yum! He's the best.

what should i watch?

I'm trying to pick a dvd to watch while I mull around my room and pretend to be productive. I've narrowed it down to Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or one of the "Mr. Show" dvds. I've been wanting to watch the "super pan" episode, because last night I was up really late watching infomercials (don't ask me why, I don't know, but I'm suddenly reminded of a statistic about how people my age are their largest demographic...), and there was this one for something called the "Magic Bullet." I fucking swear, this is the infomercial that the super pan infomercial was based on. The crazy guy with the crazy accent talking about how big and bulky all the appliances are and how they'll make you clumsy, how the Magic Bullet will replace everything on your counter, and even the resident homemaker. Insane! Maybe I'll watch "Mr. Show" after all.

(A weird sidenote: I typed "Mr. Show" into imdb, and the first result was one of my favorite movies, which happens to be a Swedish movie named Fucking Åmål. How kind of random.)

(Another weird sidenote: I googled "super pan," and apparently there really is a product called the Super Pan. Crazy.)

duh

In my post from last night, I totally forgot to talk about what I did for Valentine's Day! I guess I was high or something, surprise surprise. I'm too tired to write right now, really, but go out and take this quiz and tell me what you get! (Only take it if you have a little bit of time to spare, it might take you a little while.) I've taken a whole bunch of these tests in the last couple of days, they're somewhat addicting. Or maybe I just like to waste time.

I honestly only took this test once, but I do this kind of shit for fun, so I'm not really surprised that I got them all right...

The Brainteaser Test - Are You A Mastermind?

Busty, you answered 30 out of 30 questions correctly!
Congratulations! Your score is in the 100th percentile. This means that if one hundred people took the test with you, your score would rank higher than 99 of them on average.

When we analyzed your test, we also discovered that when it comes to quantitative ability, you measure in the 100th percentile. This score indicates you have unusually strong abilities when it comes to solving numerical problems. If there is a numerical pattern to be found, you'll find it. You've got a knack for noticing when something "isn't right." Whether you're conscious of it or not, you have an ability to simply understand when something doesn't add up. Also, when it comes to splitting the check, doing taxes, or determining the number of fans in a baseball stadium, you're the one people turn to.

it's been a good past few days

It's really late and I should totally be in bed, but I took a nap for a few hours earlier tonight and now I'm completely untired. I just got done doing some exercises on with my yoga/balance/exercise ball (call it whatever you want, it's a big round ball) to one of my ball dvds. I love that shit. Some of the exercises can be pretty hard, but I've definitely gotten stronger in certain muscles. Awesome! Now all I need is a taser.

Friday night my boyfriend and I went out to San Francisco (a whopping 15 minutes away) and tried to get into the Hank Williams III concert at Slim's. It was sold out, and there was an eerie lack of scalpers selling tickets, so we didn't get in. We decided we would just stand outside and listen to a few songs - since it's such a small club we could totally hear everything, even if it was a little muffled. When we walked up they were playing "Cocaine Blues." Hah! I won't even go into that, but it was funny for various reasons, let me tell you.

Saturday night we went to a party, again in the city. It was his coworker's birthday, and I guess this coworker rents out this bar called the Peacock Lounge every year and has a band play and whatnot. There was also a pinata, which was broken on the street while strangers cheered and cars honked. But this wasn't just any pinata, it was a special pinata. It was not only filled with mere candy - there were also condoms (I got two) and female condoms (I also got one of those, but I've never used one before and I probably won't, since I think it's just like a sandwich baggie for your vagina), flavored warming lubricant, Jesus stickers, and...pot brownies! I grabbed a bunch of those and ate some, gave some away, and saved some for later. I ate one at work the next day (yesterday) and gave one to my coworker. It definitely made helping people somewhat better, although it didn't do much for helping those goddamned bitchy customers. But yeah. I love pot food! I love pot!

I just took some valium, and I'm should go try to fall asleep. I hope it works. But first, something that's been bothering me: why is it that I can comment on, like, every post someone writes, but they can never comment on anything I write? I know they have stuff to say, I seem them say stuff all the time. It's just like a common courtesy or something, I don't know. Don't interpret this as begging for comments, because that's not what I'm doing - I just don't understand. And also, why do some people not respond to their comments at all? I like when I comment on someone's post, and then they comment back with a response. Oh, you guys.

I found a whole bunch of personality tests tonight, so be prepared for some results to be posted.

Happy VD!

First of all, I'd like to wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day. Go out and have lots of sex!

I just did something pretty stupid though...I had this little container of really tiny shiny heart confetti that I was sprinkling into some Valentine's cards...so what did I just do? I just dropped it all over. Now there are little tiny hearts everywhere. Fucking shitass. There's no way I'll be able to pick them all up, it's in such an inconvenient spot. And I need those fucking little things. Goddammit.

Gotta love those Swedes

Want a little ketchup on your penis?

Stockholm - A Swedish woman said on Sunday that she had found a penis in a bottle of ketchup.

Viktoria Ed said she was lucky enough to discover the organ before putting the sauce on her bread rolls, unlike her husband Stefan and their children, Madeleine and Simon.

"It looked like a penis, of an adult if it's human, and medium sized," she said.

"It's disgusting. The top of the bottle was intact, as if it had just left the factory. We would like to know how this thing ended up in a ketchup bottle."

The Godegaarden brand ketchup was made in Turkey and distributed in Sweden by the company Axfood. The shop where the ketchup was bought on Friday has thrown out the rest of its stock.

"I will never buy this brand again, it's finished," vowed Ed.

Police have taken the object for analysis. - Sapa-AFP

(original article here)

aw, man

Two blows to my drug loving roots!

Farmers in Liechtenstein can no longer feed cannabis to their herds under new rules in the small Alpine state.

And, closer to home: The Bush administration has asked the Supreme Court to block a New Mexico church from using hallucinogenic tea that the government contends is illegal and potentially dangerous.

There's plenty of evidence that time may run backwards

Hmm, this is pretty interesting actually. Apparently there's a random number generator that seems to be able to tell the future, based on the ebb and flow of time and people's emotional states at different times. Wouldn't that be cool if it was true? What if time really doesn't just move forward, but goes back a bit as well?

Some interesting quotes from the article:

It is possible - in theory - that time may not just move forwards but backwards, too. And if time ebbs and flows like the tides in the sea, it might just be possible to foretell major world events. We would, in effect, be 'remembering' things that had taken place in our future.

'And if it's possible for it to happen in physics, then it can happen in our minds, too.' In other words, Prof Bierman believes that we are all capable of looking into the future, if only we could tap into the hidden power of our minds. And there is a tantalising body of evidence to support this theory.

Radin repeated Dr Hartwell's 'image response' experiments while measuring skin resistance. Again, people began reacting a few seconds before they were shown the provocative pictures. This was clearly impossible, or so he thought, so he kept on repeating the experiments. And he kept getting the same results.

You can read the whole article here.

See, I told you I was cool!

I didn't even need to cheat! I'm just that awesome. Check it out:



Why just stop at one when there are plenty more to waste my time with? Check these out:


(I guess this means I'm not very weird. Damn.)



Apparently I also love money, according to this test:
Your Score: 51
What does this mean? It can only mean one thing. A sick thing. A horrible thing. A wrong thing. What is it, you ask? Well, according to the above score you sleep right beside your own money (not to mention you may also be sleeping with someone else's money). You're sick, get help!

...and I'm not spoiled, so that's good:
Your Score: 31
What does this mean? You seem to be a little spoiled. It would not hurt you to buy something for yourself, just so that you could spoil yourself. Feel proud of the fact that you got yourself where you are by mostly your own effort (even if it is a cardboard box!).

I didn't realize I was quite so nerdy...

So I took that nerd test I keep seeing posted on other people's blogs, and here are the results:




So, I know I'm somewhat of a nerd, but I'm not really. I'm cool! Really, I am. I just really like math. Is that so wrong? Hehe, just kidding, I think smart people are awesome. If only so many people weren't so stupid...

bronchitis

So, it turns out I don't have whooping cough. I have bronchitis. Yay! It even comes with a sexy, raspy voice. Fun stuff, these lung inflammations!

I'm scarily watching American Idol again. Fuck, I'm getting addicted. This is like, three episodes in a row now. I just can't turn away from that car-accident-like appeal. Some of these kids are actually pretty good though.

Is it weird that when I see a full, tied trashbag on the side of the freeway, I often imagine that there's a dead body, or at least parts of a dead body, inside? You never know what's in those things...they could be there for awhile before the community servicers come and pick that shit up. Someone could, theoretically, attempt to dispose of a body in that manner, doncha think?

Hey, wanna get me something for Valentine's Day? How about some candy?

i love self-diagnosis

Fuck meningitis. I have whooping cough. At least, I do according to my research on WebMD. God blesses the internet for these kinds of sites. Or maybe just the pope does...or should. I thought it was only, like, bronchitis or something; then my friend reminded me of this article I read that talked about how whooping cough is going around. Great. The little blip in the topic overview on WebMD totally describes exactly how I feel! Check it out:

Whooping cough (pertussis) is a highly contagious bacterial infection of the upper respiratory system—specifically, the area where the nasal passages meet the back of the throat (nasopharynx). The infection causes irritation in breathing passages, resulting in severe coughing spells. The illness has three distinct stages and can last months.

At first I thought, wait, I don't have severe coughing spells; then I remembered that I have been having severe coughing spells - I've been coughing to the point I wind up puking. I guess that's pretty severe. I was actually responsible though and had my boyfriend make a doctor's appointment for me for tomorrow (I'd have done it myself, but I have no voice). Usually I wouldn't go to the doctor just for being sick, but I figured I've been sick for too long without getting any better, so I should go see someone. Right? Maybe I'll get some medicine out of the deal. Drugs are good, mmkay? What sucks the most, though, is having to go to work tomorrow after going to the doctor. Fuck that shit.

Good night my little blogger buddies. I'm going to go learn how to do some fisting!

where is all this sickness coming from?

Physical sickness, I mean. That I possess, not the sicknesses of the world or anything. I'm not in the mood to be that deep right now. It's like, I had the flu, I felt better yet retained my gross phlegmy cough, then yesterday at work I was throwing up and now today I'm all weak and I have no voice. And the lack of voice isn't even from throwing up, it's like, I'm all sick in my chesty. (Yes, I realize I meant "chest," but that was a typo and I thought it sounded funny. My chesty. Heh.) I feel like I have an ear infucktion too. Goddammit. God damn them all!

On top of being sick still...what else. My desk is a fucking terrible mess. Dr Pepper cans and water bottles and pot ashes from, well, smoking pot and my little desk calendar about face-reading on the wrong date and...I could go on, but who cares, really. To do lists from last month, nailpolish and hairclips, crushed red pepper packets. Melted candles, linen spray, used batteries. What have I turned into? I guess I've just been too busy living instead of cleaning up after myself. Nothing wrong with that, right? Weird how I actually typed "right" in the position of "wrong" the first time I typed that sentence...hmm, maybe that's a sign. What's weirder is that I'm usually obsessively anal (heh heh, I said anal). Especially at work - I drive people nuts. Maybe my room is my "safe place" to get away from that anal feeling. But I hate it, I hate it so much. I'm hoping I'll re-read this post and see everything I said about the shit on my desk, and feel bad about it and then want to clean it. So far, it's not working. Damn.

soooo tired

I want to post something, but I'm so tired and unmotivated right now. I want to clean my room, but sadly, American Idol seems so much more interesting atm. Scary.