fuckers

So I got up about a half hour ago, a little bit later than I was planning - but that's fine, because I'm driving to LaLa Land tonight, and I don't plan on leaving until 7pm or so. It usually takes around 5-6 hours depending on how fast I drive, so I'll be up driving pretty late, and I don't want to be tired while I'm driving. At least that's what I kept telling myself as I hit the snooze button repeatedly - it was all for the sake of safety. Yeah, that's it.

My family lives down in LA (well, my parents and my younger brother - everyone else lives back east in NY), which is where I grew up, so I try to drive down there every couple of months to visit. Now I live up here, in the Bay Area, and I love it. I mean, I love the fact that I grew up in LA and I can say I'm from LA, but as soon as I turned 18 and it was time for me to go to college, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there. That was partially because I wanted to get away from my parents, too, but yeah. I needed to get away. The San Fernando Valley, to be specific, is where I grew up. So, like, yeah, I'm a valley girl. I love it. I don't care what anyone thinks or what stereotypes they have about me, or that 99.9% of the porn industry is located there. I think it's awesome. It's home. One of them. I suppose the Bay Area is my new home, since I went to college up here and then chose to remain, but even though I've been here for 7 years now, I still don't feel like I quite know everything. I don't know where all the little cities are, where all the streets go, how far everything is from where I am. You know, the stuff you learn, the stuff you absorb, when you're in an area for a long time. I mean, I know these things, but I don't feel like they're a part of me. Not yet.

I still have to pack, but I'm not stressing like I usually do. I also want to do my nails, and maybe pick up a bit. For the first time all year I'm going alone, without my boyfriend, and I think I'm a little nervous about that. I'll miss him, but I wonder if I'll be bored driving so long all alone. I used to do it all the time, but it's been awhile. Plus, there's all the creepy people at the gas stations and rest stops along the way. I remember one time last year when I was driving alone, I stopped at a rest stop to smoke a cigarette (I refuse to smoke cigarettes in my car, but weed is okay...I think it's funny I don't want cigarette smoke inside my car, but it's okay to put it inside my BODY, but that's another story), and then I realized this guy about 20 feet away was video taping me. Seriously. He full out had his fucking camcorder out and was recording me. I was really weirded out. I waited a few minutes - maybe I was being paranoid (it's been known to happen) and he was just a tourist and recording parts of California or something. But no, it was me. I put my cigarette out and got the fuck out of there, and then made sure he wasn't following me. That's the kind of shit that happens to me, more often than not. I don't know anyone else that this kind of weird shit happens to as much as me. Like this one time I was at work, and stepped outside for some air - and then this guy I'd never seen before ran up to me, took my picture, and said "Now I have your picture!!" That freaked me out, especially a month later when the guy showed up to give me my picture with his name and number written on the back. Yeah right, like I'd call him - he'd probably cut me up into little pieces. Guys, that is NOT the way to get a lady.

I could go on forever today. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I'm feeling much better than yesterday - I'm just trying to keep telling myself "fuck it, I'll clean when I get back or when I have time" as opposed to sitting here worrying about it. I did up my meds last night, maybe that has something to do with it. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Oh, yeah. So the reason I sat down here to start writing, instead of doing something productive like packing, is because I was SO PISSED a little while ago. I got up, made my coffee, started 409-ing the counters like I love to do, and then went to rinse out the sink...and no water came out. At first, I was confused, like, oh I must be really high and I didn't actually turn it on. But no, it was on, and all that was coming out was weird noises. I went to the bathroom sink - no water there either. I had been about to jump in the shower, so I turned the shower on, but alas, no water. I threw some clothes on, stormed downstairs to where they do all the maintenance crap, and found the manager. "Did you just shut the water off??" I asked. "Oh yeah, that was me, well not me, there are plumbers on the third floor, it will just be about 20 minutes or so." "Okay, because I was just trying to use it and I was a bit confused." I wish I had the fucking balls to be rude for once, instead of overly pleasant and accomodating - I wanted to be like "Um, I think it's against the law for you to just shut the water off without some kind of prior notification." Oh well. It's back on now, I just checked, but still. That pissed me off. I guess now I don't have an excuse to shower and get on with my day.

I'll try to write more before I leave, but if I don't, I'll try to write while I'm at my parents' house. I don't know if that will work though, because my brother is always playing Warcraft or something. I plan on coming back Monday night.