please just don't reinstate the draft

Army Will Recall More Than 5,000 Veterans From 48 States (washingtonpost.com)

man, everything is so fucked up, isn't it?

straight

Yeah, we're straight, we get high on our music...

Not me though, I get high on drugs.

I worked today...it seemed to go by extremely fast, too fast almost for me to even get anything done that I wanted to. Yet at the same time it seems like this day has been going on forever. After work I actually went to the bookstore to buy that new Star magazine about M-K but they didn't have it. I guess it's too low class or something...but they have Us and People! What the fuck. Nevermind that my work (the salon) actually subscribes to that magazine...I wanted it today, dammit. TODAY! Man, now I'll have to wait or something. Fuck. Care for a line, Mary-Kate?

Something smells really bad in my room, yet I don't have the energy nor motivation to find the source of the stankiness. Maybe in a little while...

Man I just realized how funny it would be if I actually documented all my terrible customer stories. Maybe having them all compiled and together would help me realize how much stupid people suck sometimes. Oh wait, I already knew that.

cocaine

According to the internet (and what more trusted source is there?), Mary-Kate Olsen is addicted to coke, and that's the real reason she's in rehab. Whatcha think 'bout that? Check it out here.

sup y'all

Looky here, I'm awake. Must be some kind of miracle if you ask me. I got here at about 9:30 this morning, stayed up until, ohhh around 10:30, and then fell asleep (not even on purpose). I woke up at like 12:50 when I got a phone call, and then looked for awhile at the bus schedules so I could go to therapy at 3:30. All of the ways they were telling me to get there were ridiculously complicated, so I decided that I would call up my therapist and ask to reschedule for sometime when I can just leave from work. (I had already been leaning in that direction...I hate taking the bus, and I hate taking unknown bus routes even more.) She said that was fine, so now I'm going on Thursday instead. Yay! I get to leave work in the middle of the day, but then I have to go back. At least I get to leave work though and split the day up a little. I'm gonna hop in the shower.

Bush Declares California "Disaster Area" — in General

"California is indeed a situation of mass destruction… it's truly a danger to the rest of the world. But with your help we can help make it a safer place to live."

(click that)

Hummingbird Closes LAX Indefinitely

hahahaha

I think this is one of my new favorite sites.

surprise

So I ended up going back to sleep earlier. I'll only nap for an hour or two, I told myself. Seven hours later I finally woke up, showered, and now here I am. Man, I hate when I do that. I feel like I wasted my whole day, and I had so much cleaning planned. I should pack a bowl.

the google ad banner

So I was looking at my blog a second ago, and I couldn't help but notice the banner ad at the top of my page (provided by google based on keywords in my entries, yay) and the main two links were both for alcohol and drug addiction recovery. Um, okay. There were also two little extra links under that...one said 'Kim Deal' (this is awesome); the other said 'crack cocaine.' Google must think I'm a crackhead obsessed with Kim Deal and I need to recover or something. Great.

fuck

Okay, so I've eaten my two eggos, I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper, and now I want to go back to sleep. What the hell. I will somehow have to resist the urge. Fuck!

mmm, syrupy!

Wow. It's like, twenty minutes to 10 on this Monday morning, and I'm asking myself repeatedly why I'm awake. I slept at A's last night (as has been my current trend), but we weren't able to fall asleep until like almost 5. He had to get up for work this morning; I, having the day off (thank god), merely had to get up so he could take me home. Usually in these types of situations I instantly go back to bed as soon as I walk through my door, but today I felt like I should stay up and maybe be productive or something. But now, sigh, I am starting to get tired again. Perhaps I should make something to eat, like an eggo, or have a can of my favorite pick-me-up elixir, Dr. Pepper. Maybe I should just take a shower and get on with it. We did a little bit of oxy last night too, and I remember getting paranoid that I would die in my sleep. I promised myself I wouldn't mix all those drugs at once anymore. We'll see what happens.

I am so excited that I have today AND tomorrow off. Two days in a row! Awesome. Lots of blogging will occur. Oh, the toaster's ready for me to insert my eggo. Mmm, syrup.

bumper stickers

Recently I was driving (when I rented a car last week to drive to LA) and I saw a car with a bumper sticker that read "Our governor can terminate your governor!" or something to that effect. Funny, but sad. Very very sad. Didn't Ronald Reagan become governor of California because he was an actor too? These people should stick to their bad movie acting, and leave the political shit to the other bad actors...er, politicians.

sandwiches

I haven't written all week! Since Tuesday! Sorry. I guess I've been keeping myself busy, or I've just been unable to write for whatever reason. I've been spending a lot of time at A's apartment, so I haven't really been around...and even though he has a computer, I don't really want to sit and blog in front of him.

I worked today from 10-5. I got home about an hour ago, and now I feel really tired. I'm eating a leftover vegetarian taco I got for lunch but didn't eat at the time - black beans, salsa fresca, guacamole, cheese...the usual. No meat. Yum.

Check out this pic I took with my phone on the way home from work today. It's a bus that is painted to look like a giant sandwich. Hmmm.


eat me!

I'm gonna eat my taco!

check it out dude

Defamer: Fifty Percent Of Olsen Twins Reportedly In Rehab

hah

please? it fits in my bowl quite nicely...
Smoking Sign

I still love you Kim Deal!

I might actually download Bam Thwok on iTunes. Of course, I'll look for it on Kazaa first...

Pitchfork: We Are The World

it's been awhile

I feel like I haven't written anything in, like, forever. I mean, I have, but I haven't really gone deep inside my head. It's 11:30 on Saturday night, I'm watching Joe Schmo 2 on mtv (I thought this was on Spike TV?), and I'm eating a Smart Ones Rice and Beans dinner. Yum. I worked today, I worked tomorrow, but I didn't work for the last three days. The reason for that, my friends, is that I went down to LA for a few days to visit my family - my little brother was graduating from 8th grade. My fucking nails are too long again for me to type comfortably - it seems like they grow way too fast sometimes. I guess that's better than them not growing. It just seems like I have to cut and file them all the time.

This show is fucking hilarious, btw. If I remember, I'll write more in a little bit.

omg you have to watch this right now

I fucking love this commercial!

Pepto Bismol - Pepto Dance , ad, advert | visit4info | TV/Cinema

linguists are awesome

WSJ.com - plug tails

today

It's only ten minutes to 7:00, but today feels like it's lasted forever already. I got up at around 8 or 8:30 and got ready for work, worked 10-5 (which went by really slowly), and now here I am.

I am extremely fucked up right now.

I wish I had an ice cream cone.

I'm ready for a nap.

I want to clean...but again, I'm so fucked up.

My nails are getting too long again to type comfortably.

I have so much to write about, but I should clean...but I'm so fucked up...

Just Say No!

Hey, with Reagan dead, that means the whole "just say no" anti-drug campaign is dead too, right? Man...I remember being like 5 years old and seeing all those dumb anti-drug commercials. Obviously they did absolutely nothing to curb my drug use, but sometimes I feel bad when I snort stuff. I'm completely fine with smoking pot all day long.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love drugs?

I am really fucking high right now. What a beautiful day boys and girls!

After getting really depressed last night, I went to bed around 11:30. The depression mixed with the sedatives I had snorted made me pretty sleepy I suppose, and besides that I just didn't want to be awake any longer. After being excited all week about A coming home, the incredible letdown that occurred just made me want to end the day as soon as possible. I knew he was coming home last night, and I was totally planning on seeing him (of course). He called me at around 8pm or so to say "hey, just left San Francisco so they shouldn't be here for about 30 minutes, and C [his friend who he went on the trip with] is in the shower, so I have a little time to see you." I was completely insulted at this - I'm not important enough to have my own time? I have to be hidden from his "real friends" and squeezed in miniature time slots between his other plans? Fuck that dude. I told him no, I didn't want to see him like that, it made me feel really shitty and unimportant. (This is weird btw, since I usually let him walk all over me.) I wanted to see him when I wouldn't have a ten minute time limit and he wouldn't have to rush out and pretend he wasn't just with me. "What the fuck?? I'm offering to come see your ass and you're going to bitch about it? Fuck that. You know what? Fuck you!" I'm sure he continued along those lines, but at that point I hung up. Fuck him for talking to me like that - I did absolutely nothing to warrant that kind of response, and I'm not going to sit on the phone and listen to him behave like that. Besides that, I didn't even say anything wrong, it seems pretty logical to me. He was apparently extremely offended that I didn't want to drop everything and see him for seven minutes and 23 seconds. So, I did some random stuff around my place and went to bed. I cried and cried, and eventually fell asleep.

I love coffee!

This article is pretty interesting...

baltimoresun.com - City seeks a jolt from Starbucks

Fuck dude

He's been home for less than an hour, and he's already calling me up bitching at me and cussing. I feel so stupid for actually missing him and being excited that he was coming home tonight.

Blah.

what a long fucking day

wouldn't it be cool if that said what a long day of fucking?

I woke up at around 7:45am - much later than I had intended on getting up. It probably had something to do with all the ativan I crushed up last night and snorted lines of until I couldn't stay awake any longer - come to think of it, I was still pretty groggy when I finally opened my eyes in the morning. I didn't have time to shower, so I washed my face and then crushed up another ativan and snorted it. I put on some makeup quickly and then my coworker was here to pick me up at around 8:12. We got to work at around 8:40 - she dropped me off in front of the store to turn off the alarm and clock us in while she found a parking spot. While she did that I crushed up a couple more pills in the breakroom and snorted those, and then I went out and tried to be coherent. I was very relaxed and unstressed, I'll tell you that much. Sedatives are great. Actually, I think drugs in general are great. Sedatives are great because they allow you to just calmly deal with what's going on. So on with my day. I made our daily rounds to Starbucks to get my iced hazelnut latte, stopping at Ritz on the way to say hi to whoever was working. David gave me another 1-2 grams of weed as a gift. At first I was like how much do you want for this, and he was like nothing it's a present, and I was like no really...he just wanted to give it to me. I don't get it, but I do like free weed. David's nice. I made some dirty money with my coworker...we're so shifty. Went in back and snorted another pill in the break room. Borrowed a friend's car to go to my therapy appointment at 3:30pm and talked about a lot of issues, which was good. Smoked a bowl in his car, which if he knew about he would kill me. Went back to work, my boss left, and then I made some more dirty money. Being weird, I took about $40 in $1's just so I can enter them all into www.wheresgeorge.com. I'm strangely addicted to that site recently. Then I got extremely stoned in the back yard with Megan from Ritz (she's a total hippy) and her boyfriend Rob, and bananaman Luis. Went to Oscar's for a veggie burger with Megan and Rob, and then they dropped me off. Now it's like 9pm, and I'm fucking tired. And crushing and snorting another ativan.

Details to follow!

Enneagrams

So I have been retaking these enneagram quizzes at various times for a few reasons - it was recommended to take the tests at least several times and see what you get the most and what is most accurate, as your mood may be different at different times, thereby affecting your answers. Makes sense, right? The one you get the most should be the most accurate for the test taker. Here are my results so far:

First:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Second:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Now here's my third:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

I'm confused...

Now it's a little different...

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Extroverted (E) 51.22% Introverted (I) 48.78%
Intuitive (N) 55.56% Sensing (S) 44.44%
Thinking (T) 55.26% Feeling (F) 44.74%
Perceiving (P) 53.85% Judging (J) 46.15%

Which is right?

more personality tests

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

But look how close I was on some of the shit...
Introverted (I) 51.43% Extroverted (E) 48.57%
Intuitive (N) 52.27% Sensing (S) 47.73%
Thinking (T) 62.5% Feeling (F) 37.5%
Perceiving (P) 50% Judging (J) 50%

stoner

I do wish I had more weed, though...hopefully tomorrow...

and so ends my excursion to the village this time, folks

I think I should snort ativan every time I need to do something. That was great! I mean I'm definitely still feeling it...but I was totally able to go do everything I needed to do and not feel weird about it or try to convince myself to do it later like I usually do. It's like some kind of underlying anxiety that prevents me from getting shit done. Where is that coming from? But right now that anxiety isn't there...I've sedated it enough to where I actually feel productive. Go me! Plus, I feel so relaxed and peaceful...

I'm getting ready to go to the village...

I need to run some errands. Drop something off at the cleaners, refill some prescriptions, deposit some checks, buy an onion. Get a latte, duh. I am really fucked up right now - I decided to snort two pills of ativan (lorazepam), and now I'm on my third. I usually take one a day to mellow me out a bit, but damn I am fucked up right now. I'm also semi-smoking a bowl (trying to conserve, I only have about 1.5 bowls left). The ativan drip in the back of my throat is sweet tasting - not bitter like that associated with coke. I hope I'm able to function out in public right now...

man what a fucking circus

Bookies Offer 3-1 Odds on Quick End to J-Lo Marriage

She's already married? Again? Where do I place my bets on when it will end?

dude

I'm doing lines of ativan. Hah. I think I just like to get high...

I retook the enneagram test to see what happened...

...and my results are fairly similar. Not exactly the same, but similar.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

7w8: puck, james woods, jack nicholson, anthony quinn, larry king, ted nugent

9w8: clint eastwood, woody harrelson, john goodman, drew carey, gerald ford

enneagrams

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Famous people of my types:
7w6 (look how many of these are known druggies! and men!): timothy leary, robin williams, chevy chase, george carlin, charles lindbergh, conan obrien, tim allen, martin short, rush limbaugh, john belushi, kevin klein, chris farley, tom hanks, regis philbin, ashton kutcher

9w1: annette benning, charles grodin

word associations

SimilarMinds.com > Word Association Test Results:

I have issues with...

patience discipline religion age mother

Take Word Association Test

I have issues with...

law discipline selfishness history innocence

Take Word Association Test

So they give you a list of words, and you react as quickly as you can to the words by clicking positive, neutral, or negative. Regardless of your choices, the test tells you that you have issues with the words/ideas/concepts that you had the longest response time for. It's really interesting actually.

Odd how 'discipline' is on there twice, eh? Maybe I really do have issues.

oh look, I'm still obsessive compulsive...and crazy

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||| 54% Schizoid |||||||||||| 50% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 74% Antisocial |||||||||| 34% Borderline |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70% Narcissistic |||||||||||||||| 62% Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% Dependent |||||||||| 38% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 78%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

I'm JFK!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fake Bake

So I just put on more Fake Bake. I don't know why, probably because I'm drunk, but it seemed like a good idea. I think I put on too much , so maybe it will look way artificial when I wake up tomorrow. Either that or streaky, since I'm so fucked up. I also spilled a bunch on my carpet - I tried to clean it up with resolve but I'm not sure how well it worked. It definitely turned the towel I was using pretty pink...

hiccups

I totally have the hiccups for the second time today!! Maybe this time it's because I'm drunk, but usually it happens when I haven't smoked in awhile (as in all day) and my lungs need to 'be expanded.' Awesome. I should smoke a bowl!

thank god I'm not ugly

Seriously! I mean, not to sound like a bitch or anything, but I was looking at some of the girls that were there and just thinking, wow, she's really ugly. I'm so grateful that I'm one of the hot ones and not the fat ugly ones!

well would ya look at that!

It's almost 4:20!

I love my hair

Someone told me yesterday that she loved my hair color - it's very exotic. I pointed out that she's a dumb biotch, since I'm white as fuck. Lol, just kidding. I used to be until I used that Fake Bake the other night. I slept with it on and took a quick shower yesterday morning. I was very concerned it would be streaky or orangey, but it actually looked really natural. There was a part on my upper right thigh near my ass where I saw some streakiness, but no one else can see that high so it doesn't really matter. I think it's gone now anyways. I kind of want to do it again tonight before I go to bed - I hope it won't look more artificial. I only did it on my legs, because if I fuck up I can just wear pants - if I fucked up my arms, wearing long sleeved shirts would suck in this weather. Okay, more soon.

drugs

Reagan's dead, I'm bored...what to do? Oh right, let's do some drugs. I'll finish this bowl I'm smoking, do some other stuff...then I'll blowdry my newly colored hair. Okay, really, it's not a new color, it's the same color I've had for the past few months now. But I had my roots touched up yesterday and redid some highlights. Awesome! Next week I'm going to have it cut - not short or anything, just a trim and maybe redefining my layers. Yay. I need to blowdry my hair, I can feel it getting dry by itself as I sit here - oh no!

Insert insufflated substance here.

fuck

It's been too long since I've had sex. Like two weeks already, wtf. I really need some cock - let's hope I don't need it bad enough to just fuck anyone though. Fuck.

omg, Reagan's dead??

Ronald Reagan: Strong, Controversial World Statesman

Okay, so I removed the post immediately preceding this one about Reagan being sick...seems like he died while I was in the shower. This is making me feel kind of weird - it's not like I liked the guy or anything, but he's the first president who actually served while I was alive to die. Wow, I feel old, like this is some kind of life marker or something. Sure, he was elected when I was only four months old, but still. Now, when a president that I actually voted for dies, that will be something else...

check it out

So I posted some pics of those dumb signs I was talking about a few days ago from Safeway. Scroll down and check it out, yo.

this article is awesome

Capitol Hill Blue: Bush's Erratic Behavior Worries White House Aides

can you hear me now?

um, apparently not...

North Korea recalls mobile phones

Where's George?

Have you ever heard of that website Where's George? where you enter in the serial numbers of the cash you have and it tells you where it's been and shit? It's pretty cool, I have been hearing about it forever and just always felt like it was probably pretty lame, but now I can see myself kinda getting into it. I just entered in like 12 bills. Do your own!

did I make it?

Do I even have to tell you? No, of course not. Unfortunately a quick shower is just not Bustily possible. Okay, actually, it probably is, but tonight I wanted to shave and exfoliate and whatnot so I could try out some sunless tanner I got from work. It's taken me awhile to work up the nerve to try it - generally I'm scared to use such products out of fear of turning my usual pasty white legs into more of an orangey muddy color. Let's hope this doesn't happen this time. I'm also paranoid of the streakiness. I'm planning on wearing a skirt tomorrow - hopefully I won't wind up having to wear pants.

Wow I totally forgot I was writing this. Now I'm tired.

can I do it?

Will I fit my shower into the 15 minute timeframe? Let's find out. Ready, go. Oh wait, let me do some drugs first.

I wonder if British kids are as stupid as American kids

D-Day 1899 and President Denzel Washington is leading liberation of New Zealand from the Nazis

today so far

So I just got home from work a little while ago. It wasn't too bad...the day went by pretty fast until my boss and I had to leave to go to a class on this new line that Sebastian is releasing called Body Double. There were about 8 or so of us there at the class, and at the end, the educator asked us 10 questions about what she had just told us. Each right answer won us a dollar; I won $5. I knew the other answers, I just felt bad and wanted to give other people a chance. God, people are so dumb. It's really not that hard to repeat something you were just told, is it? But I guess this class was a little bit different than the ones I took at Cal. Now I'm home, doing drugs, preparing to be productive. I want to clean...

hooray for clean clothes

I just got home a little while ago from the laundromat. Now I have clean clothes. Thanks Tim!!!

Now, I just have to put them away...

I went to the village...

...and ran some of my dumb little errands. I shipped out that shit to my friend, bought tampons and a paper towel holder from Rite Aid, bought some ketchup and butter from Safeway, and got my iced venti hazelnut lowfat latte. Yay. I wish I could have two days off in a row, that would be awesome.


Here's one of the signs I was talking about from Safeway. Man I love stuff like this.


It's that time of the month...time to get my novelties.

Top News Article | Reuters.com

U.S. Backs New Iraq Leaders, Says 'Not Puppets, Like President Bush'

[headline may have been altered somewhat by yours truly]

oh shit

It's already fucking June. What the fuck man.

errands

Let's list my dumb little errands. I have to buy tampons, first of all. While that may sound like it sucks, I'm actually very happy for this, as it means once again that I am not pregnant. Thank god. This reminds me of the fact that in Safeway, in the aisle with the tampons and pads and 'sanitary napkins' and whatnot, the guide thing hanging from the ceiling that says what that aisle contains doesn't say 'feminine hygiene' or 'feminine needs,' like I've so often seen before. No, it says 'novelties.' Hahaha. It's a novelty is it? It's been around for thousands of years fuckheads. Seriously though, I get a kick out of their little labels for random supermarket shit. 'Can Vegetables.' 'Cook gadgets.' (This is supposed to be cooking utensils and shit.) It's like some little asian gnome went around and built all their dumb signs and just fucked shit up bigtime.

I also have to mail some shit to my friend. He better be grateful.

Oh, and there's the necessary daily latte as well, can't forget that...

my day so far

I finally got out of bed at around 2pm. I had set my alarm for 11am, hoping to not sleep all day like I usually do on my days off, and besides that I knew I was supposed to be in Berkeley for therapy at 3:30. I wanted to get up and be productive...after all, that is my 'thing' - being productive. Maybe that's because I feel in general that I am entirely too unproductive. Anyways, I woke up at 10 and called my friend to talk about some random shit, and then wound up going back to sleep until I got up at 2. I hit snooze about 5 billion times just like every other day - quite honestly, I'm suprised I haven't smashed my alarm clock to pieces in my sleep yet. I took a shower which ended up being about 37 minutes (haha, "about," you know I totally looked at the clock) - and that was with me trying to not take too long. Damn. I realized there was no way I could be in Berkeley for my appointment anywhere near 3:30, so I called and left a message saying I missed my bus and I was really sorry but I couldn't make it. I dried my hair, put on some moisturizer, threw on some little shorts that I wear around the house, and now here I am. I'm smoking my first bowl of the day, and already I am completely stoned. When you smoke as much as I do, it's not really a matter of getting high anymore, it's more like, "what can I do to maintain my constant high?" Waking up and then smoking doesn't just get me really high, I feel like it actually renews my level of high-ness from at least the night before. It reactivates the high levels of THC flowing through my body already - so, instead of me feeling like I just took 3 hits from my bowl, I feel like I've been smoking for awhile and the few hits I just took are just added to that. Wow, I'm really high. And this Dr. Pepper isn't helping. I feel like I can hardly think. I have some dumb little errands I have to run, and then some not as dumb shit I need to take care of, but I usually put that kind of shit off. Maybe I should get dressed and put on some makeup, yes? Fuck. What to do.