still sick

Here I am, at home for the first time since Friday. Or wait, maybe it was Saturday, but I was only home for about 20 minutes on Saturday - just enough time to collect my laundry to bring it over to my boyfriend's. I unfortunately don't have access to a washer or dryer where I live, so I either have to go to a laundromat, or go to his place. His place is *much* more desireable than a laundromat, without question. The hardest part is putting all my clean clothes away - I have so many clothes, and I usually just wind up picking through them off the floor as I need them, instead of actually hanging them up. Oh well.

I just made myself some Campbell's Chunky Soup - Grilled Chicken with vegetables and pasta. I would only trust my soup needs to the official soup sponsor of the NFL, so that's how I made my choice this evening. (Insert sarcasm here.) However, one of my "isms" is that I will only eat boneless, skinless chicken breast (or turkey breast) - no beef, pork, lamb, fish, whatever. No dark meat chicken, no chicken on bones...nothing that isn't boneless, skinless chicken breast. I'm a vegetarian most of the time, except when I feel I need protein - that's when the chicken comes in. (Don't make fun of me - I'm probably way healthier than you'll ever be, except for this whole flu thing. But cholesterol-wise and all that - yeah, I'm way healthy. My doctor told me so. And I didn't even have to pay her extra to say that! It was one of the things I learned by having all that bloodwork done last month, when I was convinced I sprained a rib and had high cholesterol. But that's another story...) So anyways, my initial point was that despite all the wonderful grilled chicken in this soup that sponsors the NFL, I will still pick it out, each and every single time. And I've done this ever since I was a little girl. I didn't see this meat come off of a chicken - it could be human meat for all I know. Maybe I was made to watch too many horror movies as a child, and this is how it now affects me. I remember this one where this guy was eating french fries, and when he actually looked at what he was eating, they were fingers. I know, I know, how could you eat something you think is a fry when it's actually a finger? I don't know, but I was at a young, impressionable age. And obviously that image has stayed with me for like, 20 years. But at least this soup is alright.

I watched Along Came Polly last night. Well, I missed the very beginning, and I wasn't even planning to watch it when my boyfriend flipped it on, but then I saw the guy from Happiness (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) and was drawn in. He wasn't really even that good in this movie, but I am still a fan of him. (It wasn't his fault, it was the script, really.) You may remember him from such films as Boogie Nights and Magnolia (two of my most favoritest movies). Anyways, Polly reminded me a lot of myself, with her "weird" ethnic food tastes and her eclectically decorated small-ass apartment, and especially the ferret - I never had a ferret, but I used to have two rats that I would let run around like they were dogs. They were so cute! Later on in the evening we watched American History X, another movie I'd never seen. Man, I love Ed Norton. That movie was pretty fucked up, but I really liked it. The curbing part was really messed up though...I had to turn my head away during that scene. When I was younger and had just seen Terminator 2 for the first time, I had the hugest crush on Eddie Furlong. I heard now he looks all fucked up, but he used to be pretty cute, at least when I was a pre-teen.

Okay, I am starting to feel all sick and weak again. I should go lay down, or at least put some clothes away or something. Blah. I hope I get better soon!

fuck the flu

I have the flu. It sucks. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely terrible - fever, aches and pains, and I could hardly breathe without it hurting immensely deep within my chest. At first I thought maybe I've been smoking too much, but with the other shit...nah, I just have the flu. I went into work late, but was clocked in on time - bless my coworker's little soul. And, I worked it out so I don't have to go in tomorrow, so I can just take some time to rest. It looks like I won't be working 6 days in a row after all, thank goodness. I just hope I'm better soon, so I don't have to go back to work on Tuesday and then I just wind up getting worse, and then I'm sick the whole time I'm in LA. My mom always gives me shit when I go down there sick - I contaminate the whole house! I'm so thoughtless.

I took some NyQuil at my boyfriend's request (actually, he made me). I amazingly feel so much better already, even though I know I'm still sick. Weird how that works. Unfortunately, though, I don't even feel a little bit fucked up or sleepy, which is one of the desired side effects. I guess I'm just used to getting fucked up and staying awake, so I can't even feel this. Oh well. Maybe I should take some more.

Happiness can be bought after all

You'd never believe how hard it was to fucking find Happiness. I mean, I could have always bought it online, but I wanted the joy of actually finding it somewhere. And, last night, I finally did. We were passing by some random Tower Records, and I told my boyfriend to stop the car - I had a feeling they would have a copy of the movie in there. So he parked the car, and, lo and behold, they had not one, but two copies. Wow. I only bought one of course, but boy was I happy to finally find it. The only downer was the price - I realized I could have bought it a week ago online for cheaper (including shipping, goddammit), and had it much sooner. Oh well. I can't wait to watch it today!

I took some pretty cool pictures today. Maybe I'll actually post some, but, I doubt it.

For those of you who believe there was a post up for a day or so and now mysteriously can't find it...things are better now. My boyfriend read it, we talked about stuff, and now things are great for the time being. I deleted it because I felt stupid after I reread it, and I didn't feel so shitty anymore. Yay!

Today is my last day off until next Saturday. How much does that suck? I work the next 6 days, then I get to drive to LA for the weekend to visit the family. It seems I won't be able to get any rest for awhile...I hope I'm not a total bitch by next weekend.

I don't like no cream pie!

Did you know there's actually a show called Texas Justice? What the fuck is Texas justice? Do they shoot at each other until there's just one person left, and that person walks out the winner? Do they try to execute those that are in the wrong? Actually, I'm watching it now to try to find out the answers to these questions...and others! No, I'm just kidding. I really am watching it though. This show is ridiculous. The plaintiff is suing the defendent for $160. Apparently the two women used to be best friends; the defendent had to go to rehab, and the plaintiff bought her some things like food and underwear (?) that she never got reimbursed for. The defendent's reason for never paying back her friend? They were lovers! The plaintiff, however, disagreed with this allegation, so she repeatedly yelled...yep, you guessed it..."I don't like no cream pie!" The audience seemed to love this. Boy, Texas justice sure is weird.

Even weirder are the GlaxoSmithKline promo commercials they keep showing at each commercial break. What the fuck? "We're so great! Sure, we spend millions of dollars to make medicine that might possibly kill people and we market it anyways without really knowing...but without us, where would you be?" It's like those commercials about how great the plastic industry is.

I just ate a huge-ass fucking burrito. Usually I can only eat about 2/3 of the burrito, but today...man. I'm so stuffed now. I fell asleep before eating last night though, so maybe that has something to do with it.

In other news, Republicans are finally starting to realize how stupid they are. No, no, wait - they are starting to read things, such as newspapers and magazines (wow!), that let them know how stupid they are. So, they might know it on some level, but it just doesn't register. Imagine that. Don't believe me? Check out this article, aptly titled "Is Fort Wayne, Ind., 1 beer short of six-pack?"

Hmm, what else? Got my hair done today...I look HOT. But, nothing new there.

today is inauguration day

God, how depressing. I just woke up, and every channel is showing the "inauguration" ceremony. How can this be happening? Aw, now they're showing John Kerry...how sad. He should have won. Sigh. I really wanted to go to DC today and protest, but real life got in the way I suppose. God I hate him so much though. Blah.

In other news, I'm getting my hair done today. That's exciting at least. I don't even have to work. Awesome! I need my roots and highlights touched up.

Hey look, there's Chief Justice Rehnquist. He isn't dead yet? No, I know he's not. I wish Bush wasn't going to get to choose his replacement though. Fucking shitass.

swollen breasts

My breasts are beginning to get tender and swollen...which means they'll also be about a cup larger for the next week and a half or so. Yay! This happens once a month, around a certain time...unsurprisingly, my boyfriend never complains.

happiness

Have you ever seen that movie Happiness? It's really fucked up, actually...my summary-in-a-nutshell consists of the following sentence: these fucked up people all try to find happiness in their own fucked up little ways. For some reason I've been thinking about it a lot the past few days. I want to go buy the dvd as soon as I get a chance.

For those of you unfamiliar with the movie, here's a link to the imdb page about it. Unsure whether or not you really want to read more? Maybe this will help you decide: imdb's list of keywords pertaining to the movie.

Plot Keywords for Happiness (1998)

* telephone-sex
* parent
* guitar
* pedophilia
* independent-film
* dysfunctional-family
* controversial
* language-teaching
* father-son-relationship
* therapy
* cult-favorite
* black-comedy
* therapist
* mass-murder-in-dream
* unhappiness
* masturbation-scene
* sister
* new-jersey
* child-abuse
* boy
* marriage
* suicide
* divorce
* sandwich
* coming-of-age
* disturbing
* ejaculation-scene
* pedophile
* semen
* molestation
* sexual-abuse
* obscene-phone-call
* sleep-over

As you can tell, I'm being unusually productive this Saturday afternoon.

No, really, I kind of am. I already had a latte, killed some ants, vacuumed my bathroom (yes, I have carpet in the bathroom...and no, I didn't put it there), and now, I'm emailing companies about certain products I use that I recently discovered contain typos on the front of the product packages. Does that make sense? I use a lot of fucking beauty products (working in a beauty salon (gag) does that to you), so I see a lot of different packages; combine that with my linguistics degree and my anal obsession for correct spelling and grammar, and you'll come up with my current project. How the fuck can you sell a product and not even read the fucking tube or bottle or box before you mass produce and distribute it? Some of these products are pretty expensive, too, yet they have blatant spelling errors in plain view. That kind of bullshit bugs the fuck out of me. So, I've decided to let these companies know. Maybe they'll be so impressed with my editing capabilities that they'll offer me a job. Yeah, right. That would be cool though, ja?

the fucking ants are back

Guess what I woke up to this morning? Okay, actually, that would be a random assortment of beeps and noises from my boyfriend's cell phone (he likes to set as many alarms as possible hoping he'll wake up when they go off; unfortunately, I'm the only one that ever hears them), the kids next door yelling and screaming, and weird dizzy spells from forgetting to take my medication. What I'm referring to, though, is a fucking trail of ants. As soon as I opened my eyes and focused on the wall across the room, I could see it. A long, thick trail of ants. Goddammit. What the fuck. Naturally, I grabbed the can of Raid and began spraying the whole trail, taking joy in watching the little ant bodies slide down the wall slick with poison. Now I just have to clean up the mess. The ants weren't in the area where I previously sprayed the poison, which I guess is good...but come on, what the fuck. There isn't even anything they would want, besides the water in the sink. I bet they represent some kind of lingering problem that I deal with superficially, but it's still there on some level, needing to be taken care of. Or, maybe they're just little ants doing their thing and I'm looking way to far into this. Either way, I guess, I hate them.

I'm drinking a latte. The day has officially begun.

The water pipe, called a bong, allows smoke to be drawn through water into a glass tube and inhaled.

For some reason this is kind of amusing to me. At least that sentence is. Or even the manner in which the whole article was written. In any case, this mom sucks.

Woman convicted for letting toddler smoke pot

By CLAIR JOHNSON
Of The Gazette Staff

A federal judge this week convicted a Gardiner woman who encouraged her toddler daughter to smoke marijuana.

U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull Wednesday found Jessica Durham, 23, guilty of distributing marijuana to a person under the age of 18 years.

Durham will be sentenced April 20 by Senior U.S. District Judge Jack Shanstrom. She faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Crime photographed

Cebull's ruling comes after a one-day bench trial on Oct. 27 in which a key prosecution witness described how she photographed Durham holding a water pipe while her 18-month-old daughter put her mouth over the top. The water pipe, called a bong, allows smoke to be drawn through water into a glass tube and inhaled.

The witness, Brandi Nichols of Gardiner, turned Durham in to authorities along with the photographs. The photographs were entered as evidence.

Durham did not testify at her trial, and the defense called no witnesses.

Defense attorneys Robin Hammond and Zachary Cain argued that there was no proof that marijuana was in the bong. And they suggested that the photographs could be of Durham taking away the bong rather than offering it to her toddler.

Further, the attorneys said Nichols, an admitted marijuana user with a felony drug conviction, was not a credible witness. And they questioned whether the case was distribution within the meaning of the statute.

Cebull ruled that distribution does not need to be for pay or profit. The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has held that sharing of drugs constituted distribution, his order said.

Witness credible

Cebull also found that Nichols' testimony as a witness was credible.

"Brandi Nichols stated she saw (Durham) light and give a water bong to her daughter … to inhale. Brandi testified that she smoked from the bong as well and that from her knowledge and experience with marijuana, the bong contained marijuana,'' the judge said.

Nichols testified at trial that she and Durham, whom she had helped move to Montana in the fall of 2003, had smoked marijuana "a good handful'' of times at Durham's residence in Gardiner.

In early February 2004, Durham, who was estranged from her husband, was moving to Washington with her mother. Nichols testified that she was helping Durham pack on Feb. 3 when she entered Durham's residence, hugged the toddler and sat on the couch. Next to the couch was a 2-foot-tall bong.

Nichols said the toddler ran for the bong and that she tried to wave her away. "She threw the only fit I've ever seen her throw,'' she said.

Durham told Nichols that her daughter wanted the bong and proceeded to light the residue in the pipe. Nichols said Durham sucked marijuana smoke up through the water into the pipe and gave the bong to her daughter. "She (the toddler) put her mouth on it and took a big hit,'' Nichols said.

Nichols then took a turn inhaling from the pipe, Durham smoked again and gave her baby the pipe again. Nichols testified that she got a buzz off the smoke, went outside and got sick. "I was freaking out,'' she testified.

Nichols went home upset at what she saw and told her boyfriend what had happened. He told her to go back and take photographs because "nobody would believe us,'' Nichols said.

Nichols returned with a digital camera. Durham, she said, suggested it would be "cool'' if they had pictures of the baby smoking a bong and that she wanted to send a picture to High Times, a marijuana magazine.

At trial, Assistant U.S. Attorney Marcia Hurd displayed a series of pictures taken by Nichols. One showed a little girl in a pink Winnie the Pooh shirt and pants and Tigger slippers holding onto the bong with her hand and face close to the top of the pipe. Durham was seated on a couch smiling and holding the pipe with one hand.

Nichols testified that Durham told her she let her child smoke marijuana because she wasn't eating or sleeping enough.

Nichols said that after Durham left, she called her former state probation officer, whom she trusted, told her what happened and e-mailed her the photographs. She also reported the incident to the Livingston Police Department.

Law enforcement officers arrested Durham in Butte, where her vehicle had broken down, and placed the toddler in foster care. The child has since been placed with relatives.

A test of the toddler's urine seven days after she allegedly smoked marijuana was negative for the drug, witnesses said.

Denver Cobb, a detective with the Missouri River Drug Task Force in Park County, testified that in an interview after her arrest, Durham initially denied letting her baby smoke marijuana. Then, Durham told him that she let her baby "take no more than five hits,'' he said.

oh, i forgot

I meant to put this link in my last post, but somehow that thought escaped me. This is amusing to me. Texas sucks for numerous reasons. Can you imagine stealing drugs from dead people? Or even buying drugs that used to belong to dead people from your "friend"? Man.

what a beautiful day

Today is awesome so far. I have the day off, I'm totally relaxed, it's not pouring rain outside (or pouring anything else for that matter, even though it is fucking freezing), I'm drinking a triple latte, my boyfriend cleaned my room last night so there's not shit everywhere (giving me space to finally organize some of my pictures tiling my floor, as well as some of the other shit that I've been too unmotivated to put away myself) , I slept until 3:30pm, I'm high , I got a raise yesterday...I could go on, but you get the point. I guess I'm in a good mood or something. Sweet! It's about fucking time. I feel like I haven't been in the best of moods lately, for whatever reasons. But now that I have the day off...hot damn. This is awesome.

Yesterday I took everything out of my shower and spent an hour (or more?) scrubbing it. This is a pretty big deal for several reasons: I only have a shower stall, no bathtub, so you can imagine how long I actually spent cleaning it; my shower was really dirty (at least it was in my mind - anyone else probably wouldn't have even noticed); I have a TON of products, so taking them all out of the shower to clean was a bitch - in fact, they're still all over my bathroom floor. Which reminds me, I need to go put all that shit back. Maybe when I'm done with my caffeine injection. And besides, I'm chatting with my mom right now...much cheaper than talking on the phone, right?

Well, I guess I don't really have anything too interesting to report on today. Not yet at least. Things are going well with my boyfriend, I don't hate work right now, I don't feel like I have no friends. I don't even feel terribly poor right now...but I guess I will, if I start thinking about it. Fuck student loans.

Okay, latte is finished. Time to put my shower products away. I'll write more later.

Hey, guess what...in just five days now, the world is going to end. Isn't that just spectacular? Keep your eyes open for interesting things to happen at the "inauguration." (The quotation marks represent the fact that Bush shouldn't really be president...you see, he's the "president." It's only real in some fake fantasy world.) Sigh.

the funniest thing happened on the way home from work

I got to leave work early today, an hour and a half early. It was awesome, except traffic sucked on the way home because of the time it was but, whatever, I'm still home earlier than I'm supposed to be. On the freeway, some jerkoff cut in front of me; at the time, I remember wondering why the fuck he couldn't have just gone behind me, as I was driving just as fast. A few minutes later, the FedEx truck in front of him slowed down and came to a stop, and I realized jerkoff wasn't slowing down a bit. He smashed right into the back of the FedEx truck, which appeared unharmed from where I was; jerkoff's SUV, however, started pouring liquids all over, and the two vehicles made their way to the side of the freeway. I thought of several things at this point. It's a good thing I pay attention when I drive not just to the jerkoffs in front of me, but to what's going on in front of them as well, so I can avoid stupid accidents like this one. Also, maybe it was a good thing that guy went in front of me and not behind me, because otherwise it would have been MY car he hit when he wasn't paying attention. That would have completely sucked, especially if he pushed me into the big FedEx truck. Man, that would have been bad. Especially since I was on my cell phone and hitting my pipe at that exact moment. Weird.

I decided to get off the phone at that point. I did hit the pipe again though.

nasty shit

This is so nasty. Of course, I had to copy it here.

today is my half birthday

I'm 24.5 today!

it's about time

Fuck this guy.

CBC News: CNN lets Tucker Carlson go

ATLANTA - Tucker Carlson, the argumentative conservative co-host of Crossfire, has been let go by CNN.

Carlson made a name for himself on the program with his trademark bow tie – and his trademark bullying of guests.
Tucker Carlson

CNN head Jonathan Klein told Carlson on Wednesday that the network has decided not to renew his contract.

Other changes are coming to Crossfire as well. The half-hour show will likely become a shorter segment inside another afternoon program, Inside Politics.

Carlson, who also hosts a show on PBS, has reportedly been discussing the possibility of joining CNN rival MSNBC.

"His career aspirations and our programming needs just don't synch up," Klein told the Associated Press.

"He wants to host his own nighttime show and we don't see that in the cards here. Out of respect for him and his talent, we thought it would be best to let him explore opportunities elsewhere."

Klein added that he hopes Crossfire's other three rotating co-hosts – Paul Begala, James Carville, and Bob Novak – will remain with CNN as commentators.

Launched in 1982, Crossfire was originally hosted by Pat Buchanan on the right and Michael Kinsley on the left.

Once a jewel in the network's crown, it had dropped in the ratings by 21 per cent since last season, according to Nielsen Media Research.

Some guests gave back to Carlson as good as they got.

Appearing as a guest on Crossfire in October, Daily Show host Jon Stewart called Carlson a "dick" who promotes "partisan hackery."

Stewart said he believes the program's format has become emblematic of the decay of the American political system, a diagnosis with which Carlson's boss appears to agree.

"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp," Klein said.

In November, Carlson also famously interviewed maverick Canadian MP Carolyn Parrish on fellow host Wolf Blitzer's program Wolf Blitzer Reports.

Ostensibly a discussion of U.S.-Canadian relations, the segment digressed into a showcase for Carlson to outline his belief that Canadians spend a lot of time dogsledding.

"I don't think every Canadian is dogsledding at all times but I do think there's a lot of dogsledding in Canada," he said after Parrish challenged him. "Yes, I do think that's true."

I fucking hate ants, goddammit

Well, let me be more specific. I hate them when they're in my living area, eating my food and making messes that I have to clean up. I've spent the last hour or so trying to clean up after them - their little dead bodies saturated with poison on my countertops, in my cupboards, on the walls; the little mounds of dirt they created when they decided to inhabit my lovely plants and make tunnels in the potting soil; the box of sugar they decided to claim as their own. Fuck them, seriously. They always come inside during the winter - the rain and the cold forces them inside, into my nice, warm, dry abode. This occurrence, in turn, invites even more spiders to come bother me than the usual amount; living on the side of a hill with trees and ivy and whatnot right outside provides a nice living environment already, but with all the tasty ants roaming around inside, of course they're going to come join us.