the funniest thing happened on the way home from work

I got to leave work early today, an hour and a half early. It was awesome, except traffic sucked on the way home because of the time it was but, whatever, I'm still home earlier than I'm supposed to be. On the freeway, some jerkoff cut in front of me; at the time, I remember wondering why the fuck he couldn't have just gone behind me, as I was driving just as fast. A few minutes later, the FedEx truck in front of him slowed down and came to a stop, and I realized jerkoff wasn't slowing down a bit. He smashed right into the back of the FedEx truck, which appeared unharmed from where I was; jerkoff's SUV, however, started pouring liquids all over, and the two vehicles made their way to the side of the freeway. I thought of several things at this point. It's a good thing I pay attention when I drive not just to the jerkoffs in front of me, but to what's going on in front of them as well, so I can avoid stupid accidents like this one. Also, maybe it was a good thing that guy went in front of me and not behind me, because otherwise it would have been MY car he hit when he wasn't paying attention. That would have completely sucked, especially if he pushed me into the big FedEx truck. Man, that would have been bad. Especially since I was on my cell phone and hitting my pipe at that exact moment. Weird.

I decided to get off the phone at that point. I did hit the pipe again though.