I'm it!

So, apparently I've been tagged by quki. I've known this, I've just been so busy packing and whatnot. Here we go...

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:
If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be a midget stripper...
If I could be a proctologist...If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...If I could be a mob boss...
If I could be a backup singer .....If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer ....
If I could be a candy striper... If I could taste test chocolate...
If I could be a rich house wife… if I could be a truck driver… if I could be a madam/pimp...


Here are my choices:
*If I could be a proctologist, I could finally stick things up people's asses myself instead of telling them to do it all the time. I could also pull things out of people's asses, much like I like to pull words out of my own.

*If I could be a scientist, I would be some kind of psycho-geneticist, which is what I originally came to college to be. I would want to analyze serial killers not only from a psychological perspective, but also from a genetic standpoint - is there some kind of gene or genes that contribute to one becoming a serial killer at some point in his life? Does this outcome occur when one possesses this particular genetic makeup with a certain type of psychological conditioning? I've always been interested in the brains of serial killers. Now I'm a linguist.

*If I could be a linguist...hey, wait a sec. Okay, I'm not really a linguist yet, not including that linguistics degree...but after I go into speech pathology, I would definitely love to research the effects psychological and/or emotional trauma has on children that later develop speech disorders due to these traumas. And then I'll wonder why they killed so many people. (Just kidding about that last part.)

*If I could be a chef, I'd be a vegan (or at least a strict vegetarian) chef. I'd make dishes that are not only healthy, but also colorful and cool to look at. I'd use random ingredients together that would wind up complimenting each other. Then I'd have my own reality show about what a bitchy chef I am and how people want to work with me, but I would just throw their shit all over the place declaring it wasn't good enough to serve in my restaurant, which would probably be in San Francisco or Los Angeles.

*If I could be a musician, I would be just like Kim Deal. She's my idol. I'd play the bass, smoke and drink a lot while I'm playing on stage, and be totally awesome. I'd also have a lot of sex and do a lot of drugs with quki (the drugs, not the sex).

Okay, so now I get to tag three people - I tag FistingChamp, Kayaboy, and Lex.

I'm too unmotivated to add my own professions, so use those already provided.

Busty Wilde + life